I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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