I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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