Only a mothe r could love this liver
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Found your dick twin last night
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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