I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
