Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
