Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She said her name was "party"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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