What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
They have beer where we have blood.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
