It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
