i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
