I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
