I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
4 words: hood of his car
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
