Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
