Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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