Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
