quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
