Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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