Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
