why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
