"it" just moved
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
