I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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