No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
