she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
