The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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