we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
