He kissed a someone with a penis
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
