Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
