i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
