She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
