Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
