Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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