Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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