i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
