woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
