Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We need to rekindle our bromance
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
