If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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