my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
