I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
