There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
