wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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