I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
