Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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