Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
