my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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