first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
