oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
