they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
