Where did you get a picture of my penis
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
