She is in my trunk
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
