Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
