sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
