Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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