Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
