You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
